July 31, 2008

I remember when Hollister was called Tommy Hilfinger.

I guess when Kevin Federline starts wearing your ugly shirts, you have to change your name to something like Hollister.

Hey, you! The dork wearing the t-shirt that reads “Hollister” across the chest! You’re a tool.

What does brandishing a shirt with the manufacturer’s name across it say about the wearer? That you need somebody else’s logo to validate your existence? That you’re a sucker who’s willing to pay to advertise a brand that will implode the day Ryan Seacrest slips one on?

That you dye your pubic hair blond and host cuddle parties on your futon?

To me, it says “you’re hippo food.” And I don’t normally eat fruit.


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